Sunday, January 04, 2009

I can explain this picture.

This is a picture of the Werewolf of London's tailor. He was at his Senior prom bringing a refreshing beverage to his date Candy, who had just been crowned Prom Queen, when he got the emergency call on his Nokia 1650 cell phone. Alberto, the werewolf's real name, had been drinking Pina Coladas (made with light rum, coconut cream and pineapples) at Trader Vic's when a full moon rose into the evening sky. Alberto proceeded to have a howling good time, but once the moon set, he realized he needed immediate repair work done on his elegant evening apparel. That's when he called his trusted tailor Bob. Bob and his date Candy left the prom in a hurry and found Alberto slumped against the side of an office building. Bob set to work and in no time he had made the much needed repairs with his trusty portable Singer sewing machine. Bob, Candy and Alberto planned to go to Denny's for breakfast, but Bob's POS Bumblebee ‘77 Chevy Camaro wouldn't start, so they did the only thing they could do. They hijacked the UPS man as he was leaving a package off at Fowler's Office Supply, telling him he would be unharmed as long as he delivered them to Denny's and kept his mouth shut. Fred, the UPS driver, didn't have a problem with that because Candy was very large and charming below the neck and also he wouldn't mind a coffee. They were fast becoming friends when the accident happened. The Singer suddenly took a liking to Fred's pants leg. In the act of trying to kick the machine off his leg, Fred lost control of his delivery vehicle,ran off the road, into a construction site, and ended halfway up an embankment, his van impaled by a chain link fence. Fred called the Singer every name in the book and used the Nokia to call the cops. Alberto took this picture of Bob and the machine that took a bitching and kept on stitching. Bob was arrested soon after the photo was taken.

They still haven't come up with the money to bail poor Bob out of jail and the Camaro has been impounded. Alberto was last seen walking with the Queen.