Sunday, January 04, 2009

I can explain this picture.

This is a picture of the Werewolf of London's tailor. He was at his Senior prom bringing a refreshing beverage to his date Candy, who had just been crowned Prom Queen, when he got the emergency call on his Nokia 1650 cell phone. Alberto, the werewolf's real name, had been drinking Pina Coladas (made with light rum, coconut cream and pineapples) at Trader Vic's when a full moon rose into the evening sky. Alberto proceeded to have a howling good time, but once the moon set, he realized he needed immediate repair work done on his elegant evening apparel. That's when he called his trusted tailor Bob. Bob and his date Candy left the prom in a hurry and found Alberto slumped against the side of an office building. Bob set to work and in no time he had made the much needed repairs with his trusty portable Singer sewing machine. Bob, Candy and Alberto planned to go to Denny's for breakfast, but Bob's POS Bumblebee ‘77 Chevy Camaro wouldn't start, so they did the only thing they could do. They hijacked the UPS man as he was leaving a package off at Fowler's Office Supply, telling him he would be unharmed as long as he delivered them to Denny's and kept his mouth shut. Fred, the UPS driver, didn't have a problem with that because Candy was very large and charming below the neck and also he wouldn't mind a coffee. They were fast becoming friends when the accident happened. The Singer suddenly took a liking to Fred's pants leg. In the act of trying to kick the machine off his leg, Fred lost control of his delivery vehicle,ran off the road, into a construction site, and ended halfway up an embankment, his van impaled by a chain link fence. Fred called the Singer every name in the book and used the Nokia to call the cops. Alberto took this picture of Bob and the machine that took a bitching and kept on stitching. Bob was arrested soon after the photo was taken.

They still haven't come up with the money to bail poor Bob out of jail and the Camaro has been impounded. Alberto was last seen walking with the Queen.


Toni said...

You are too much!!! Letting that imagination get to you hey? Happy New Year dear friend.

LDahl said...

"Reality is for those who lack imagination" ~?

You're up early!!! This was a writers challenge...rather like a gauntlet thrown down, I couldn't resist.
Thought I would post it here to let you all know that even though I had Pneumonia over the holidays and computer died for a couple of weeks, I'm back, but not working on graphics right now.
'09 will be a better year won't it?
s-s-s-s-st!(yeh, that's my version of sniggering)But so far, so good.
Happy New Year to you dear Toni, we both took hits in 08.
Hey my son got married a few days before Christmas, fun wedding and I am so very happy and thankful for my new daughter-in-law. So '08 wasn't all bad!

aynaku said...

g r e a t !
your amazing work reminds me a Warren Zevon old song called "worewolf of london" that use to be one of my fav song in the late '70!
I'm going to post once in while...really THANX for your costant support!

LDahl said...

Thanks Aynaku! That is what is all about! An old love of mine used to perform Werewolves of London, it's an odd song to get misty-eyed to, but remembering a howling crowd does that to me. :)))) I played it while posting.:b
I love your work, and your thoughtful insights, hope you have a Happy and prosperous New Year!

simon said...

ahahahahaha! Happy new year Lilah!
Pneumonia? thats awful!

I have a feeling that this year will certainly be better than last!
Oh! Our dog is fully recovered! :o)

nike dunk said...

i think the archive you wirte is very good, but i think it will be better if you can say more..hehe,love your blog,,,

南通棋牌游戏中心 said...

It seems different countries, different cultures, we really can decide things in the same understanding of the difference!
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LDahl said...

Nike Dunk, I'm going to leave your comment for now. I do delete all spam and spam like comments. Other than that, thank you for your comment.

????????, again, the number and style of your comments make me wonder if you are a spammer, don't mean to be rude, but I thought I should tell you this.

LDahl said...

Oh Simon, yes...I've been rotten sick and so has my computer...when it rains, it pours!! Happy to hear your doggie is going to live! I could buy a new computer for what your vet bill is going to be!!! That was one gruesome snake, uggh!Give me a nice ol' Rattlesnake any day, at least they let you know where they are and the warn you to stay away.
So far this year has been better.... the economy is a big fat concern but as 2008 emptied the mutual funds already, that only leaves us to wondering about food and gas prices. It promises to be a rough ride, but we've already bought our tickets and are standing in line. :)))))

Krimo said...

Happy New Year, L.

LDahl said...

Hi Krimo! Did you have some resolutions this year? Mine were pretty easy: Spend more time OFF the computer and get rid of twenty pounds of stuff(junk and unused items). So far I'm making it happen. I said 20 pounds, but I'm hoping that inspires me to get rid of much more...and I'm strongly considering it! :)))
Happy new year to you!

My secret word for this post is "runkless"... these things are making weird sense....eek!
Oh it didn't take it now I get
"lucksl" Arrrrrrrg!

Merisi said...

So, the Queen's new Mr. Brown's name is Alberto, really cool! :-) What, you say the Queen's name is not Victoria? Now you have me confused!

May the new year be good to you!

LDahl said...

So far so good Merisi, I still get pretty tired pretty fast, my computer is driving me crazy, and I've had lots of company...but it is all ok!
(The "Queen" is the Prom Queen Candy)

Donn Coppens said...

The Personal Ad read:

SWF ALBC seeks D/D Free NS SWCJGM NK for friendship only * WLTO&E BD

Heart be still! The young man grabbed his Singer, stole a UPS van, made a quick stop at King Tux, and then drove into the burm directly below her apartment.

He knew what the ad really meant..
he could read between the lines...
she has a "great personality" and "sews all of her own clothes!"

It didn't matter, that ad fit him to a T, she had to be talking about him, and Hymie McDonaldson knew that "Destiny was calling!"

Single White Female All That and a Bag-of-Chips seeks Drug and Disease Free Non Smoker Single White Christian Jewish Gay Male with No Kids for friendship only...
Willing to Trade Outfits and Experiment with Bondage and Domination

LDahl said...

:))) last!!!!!!Someone that is as crazed as I am!!! Reading the personals out of the KC Pitch (Local event rag) to each other, used to be my son-in-law's and my Saturday morning ritual. We'd make some expresso, and have some good laughs for a couple of hours. I still regret not calling Wee Willie who wanted to clean respondents house in the nude, all I would have to do is carry a whip and talk mean to him. I thought I could possibly do that, but he probably was snapped up as he wasn't in the next weeks paper. (Yeh, we looked) :)))

tlc illustration said...

Heh - wow. I was rather hoping that Fred got a chance with Candy, but you're right - werewolves definitely outclass UPS drivers.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Yep, it all makes complete sense now.

[That comment with the Chinese characters reminds me of the spam I got last Nov. before my computer went bonkers. Hundreds of spam. I reported the person to Blogger].

LDahl said...

GG, hope you had fun reading it!

I'm hoping I ran the spammer off before any trouble was caused. A couple of months ago I ran into something that caused me so many computer problems, I will probably not recover until I have to scrap everything and start over. Where it came from I'm not entirely sure; I had only been to reputable sites. :(