Monday, December 27, 2010

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

                                                                                        














FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO LIKE TO BAKE…

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again,
To be sure it is of the highest quality,
Pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok,
Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl
And chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters
Just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

Who geeves a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window,
Finish the Cose Juervo and make sure
To put the stove in the wishdasher.

Cherry Mistmas!
                               

Monday, November 08, 2010

Friday, June 25, 2010

Learning GIMP, day two: Brushes

A gust of wind blows the leaves: 
They are quiet.
~Basho
 A Garden of Ghosts

IF: Paisley

I did have a good idea for paisley(at least I thought so). Visualize a wall with a newspaper tacked to it. Above a headshot photo of Harry Potter the headline reads: House Elf does what Dark Lord has been unable to do!

In front of the wall stands Kreature with smoking gun.  Kreature is wearing a hideously loud paisley toga, he looks totally disgusted and appalled.

The text reads:
Yesterday Harry Potter freed Kreature with a gift of clothes.

But then, I had second thoughts. Paisley always gives me a  migraine. :)))

Friday, April 23, 2010

Liars club, the truth will out!
















Photo by my friend Jean of a fairy chair I made
 for her. The cat is really a tiny pillow, a vintage 
replica, hand sewn by me. Pumpkins grown in 
my tiny garden...well maybe not! :)))

Andrew, I will quit sitting around and letting time 
pass while I stare out the window.

1. I robbed a bank vault when I was a kid,
and got away with it. #1 is a WHOPPER: 
Not the vault!

My Grandfather lived in a very small town,
consisting of one main business street. 
Years of visiting  and exploring gave me
intimate knowledge of the ins and outs
of all the old business buildings. A little 
like Harry Potter, I solemnly swear, I 
was often up to no good. I knew where
the hidden ways into back rooms, 
upper floors and basements were. The 
old bank was no exception. I could and
and did get into the upper floor. It was
hot and very dusty but contained some 
interesting items.  I remember there 
was an old cracked leather feinting couch 
and a box of antique photos that I liked to
spend time studying. There were names 
written on the back of many of them so
naturally I made up stories about the 
personages pictured. 
Then came the spring when I discovered
a new bank had been built. The old bank
was due to be demolished. I had to save
my people! I asked an older cousin to go
to the bank with me to help me rescue
the precious box. I showed him the 
secret way in. There he found an antique
wooden child's wagon. He carried it out,
then went back for the heavy box of 
photos, down a set of stairs, down a
dark creaking hallway and then down
another set of stairs, we made our
getaway! Pulling the wagon back to
my grandfathers, we were brazen,
hardened criminals, no fear of getting
caught.
Cousin hid the photos in my parents car 
and put the wagon in his parents car. 
When we heard the bank had had it's date
with destruction, he took the child's
wagon to his mother. They decided to
donate it to a local museum. I showed
my mother the box of antique photos.
Seeing the names on the backs, she 
had the idea of trying to find some of 
the family locally. A few phone calls,
 mom hit paydirt, a man who said
he would call his sister to come take a 
look. The day arrived, the elderly lady 
sat on the couch and I brought her the box.
As she named the people in the pictures
she burst into tears. They were photos 
which had been missing for years,
the only ones the family had. She was
terribly grateful that I had been a 
bank robber and had saved her family
pictures from the wrecking ball. 
I received a Christmas card every 
year from her until she passed away.

2. My second cousin cut my third finger off 
my right hand with scissors when I was five.
#2 is a WHOPPER: Not the whole finger, 
just the top of it.
Miss smarty pants(me) knew cousin wasn't
supposed to play with Aunt Faye's scissors. 
My intentions were to take them from her 
and play with them myself. 
She taught me the valuable lesson of never 
presenting a frontal attack. Always approach
from the side! The end of the finger was
reattached in the emergency room and
eventually I recovered full use of it. 
I still bear the scar, it makes for a good
cautionary tale for the grand kids.
I've never liked that cousin.

3. Gypsies kidnapped me and stole 
my first home.  
#3 is a WHOPPER:
They didn't get me, just the small
trailer my parents were using until
the big farm house was remodeled 
enough to live in.  
Yes, Gypsies!!
My mother always told me when I
was being particularly awful, they 
would be back for me. After reading
Ransom for Red Chief, I was ready
for them! 

4. My Dad and I found a complete
skeleton in a prospector's shack in 
the desert. He said if I ever told my 
mother he wouldn't take me with him 
to check out stuff anymore.
#4. Drum roll... TRUE!
My dad was a rockhound ,we were
tourists long before there was such a
thing. We traveled great distances
every summer in our Jeep station
wagon. Forests, mining camps, lost
caverns, all of that and more was
par for the course when I was a kid.
When we were going through a desert
my dad saw a shack south of us and
he just had to investigate. He and I
were off to see what we could see.
There behind the door to a second
room I found "him" under a deteriorated
quilt. Poor old dear had left this veil of
tears while in bed. Nothing left of him but
his bones which had become white with
desert summer's blinding heat and
winter's biting cold.
I never told my mother until my dad
himself had passed.
Dad and I did have our secrets. :) 


5. I won my first Purple ribbon at the
State Fair for scratch baking when I 
was eight. I entered my white cake
with strawberry icing.
#5. WHOPPER: It was a blue ribbon and 
I won it in the local fair. 4H!

6. The King of Sweden visited a town
14 miles from here, I got to shake his
hand. So I have had the privilege of 
shaking the hand of a past President 
and a King.
#6. WHOPPER: I did shake President
Eisenhower's hand, if I told you all of 
that story you would swear I was 
telling you another whopper. The 
King of Sweden did visit and I saw him 
but of course, never shook his hand.

 7. I recently learned one of my Barbies 
I had since I was a kid would be worth
21 thousand dollars if it was still in the
box. As it is, it is only worth about 
seven thousand dollars.

Yep, it's a WHOPPER! 
Mostly an outright lie!
If I still had my one and only Barbie
and she was still in the box, she would
only be worth about $700. (She was
a Champagne bubble cut Barbie. )

Well,  it was fun! If I had it to do all
over again, I would tell you about our
diamond mine in Arkansas and what
we found there... and about
laying on the train tracks and letting
the train roll over me(scary!)
Oh well, maybe another time. 


Saturday, April 03, 2010

Liars club

I have been given this award by Andrew of
Andrew Finnie: Andrew Finnie, Artist and Illustrator

Thank you Andrew... I think. Nah, I'm tickled as not
everyone is a bold face....uhm, creative writer. 



 




 


1. I robbed a bank vault when I was a kid,
and got away with it.
2. My second cousin cut my third finger off 
my right hand with scissors when I was five.
3. Gypsies kidnapped me and stole 
my first home.
4. My Dad and I found a complete
skeleton in a prospector's shack in 
the desert. He said if I ever told my 
mother he wouldn't take me with him 
to check out stuff anymore.
5. I won my first Purple ribbon at the
State Fair for scratch baking when I 
was eight. I entered my white cake
with strawberry icing.
6. The King of Sweden visited a town
14 miles from here, I got to shake his
hand. So I have had the privilege of 
shaking the hand of a past President 
and a King.
7. I recently learned one of my Barbies 
I had since I was a kid would be worth
21 thousand dollars if it was still in the
box. As it is, it is only worth about 
seven thousand dollars.


















There you have it. Which are the Whoppers and
which one is the truth? Can you tell?

I will with fear and trepidation present these 
Blogger friends with this burden special award. 

Guyana-Gyal Guyana
She is well equipped to handle this Award.


Val Walsh ValGal Art
Because she will forgive me, I think!


Donn Homo Escapeons
He says he's quit blogging, maybe this
will tempt him to come back.


Albina Out of Hands
Revenge for yummy post!


Simon Bits and Bobs
He's on vacation and I'll be
able to hide before he finds out.


Andrea Coloring Outside the Lines
So you will visit her and see her
paintings she has for sale.


Merlin Princesse  Photos Reflexions Creations
She has a great sense of humor.

Thanks again Andrew, it was embarrassing fun!
It was fun.


Here are the rules:
1. Thank the person who gave this to you.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you.
4. Tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth.
5. Nominate seven "Creative Writers" who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies.
6. Post links to the seven blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them.