Friday, April 23, 2010

Liars club, the truth will out!

Photo by my friend Jean of a fairy chair I made
 for her. The cat is really a tiny pillow, a vintage 
replica, hand sewn by me. Pumpkins grown in 
my tiny garden...well maybe not! :)))

Andrew, I will quit sitting around and letting time 
pass while I stare out the window.

1. I robbed a bank vault when I was a kid,
and got away with it. #1 is a WHOPPER: 
Not the vault!

My Grandfather lived in a very small town,
consisting of one main business street. 
Years of visiting  and exploring gave me
intimate knowledge of the ins and outs
of all the old business buildings. A little 
like Harry Potter, I solemnly swear, I 
was often up to no good. I knew where
the hidden ways into back rooms, 
upper floors and basements were. The 
old bank was no exception. I could and
and did get into the upper floor. It was
hot and very dusty but contained some 
interesting items.  I remember there 
was an old cracked leather feinting couch 
and a box of antique photos that I liked to
spend time studying. There were names 
written on the back of many of them so
naturally I made up stories about the 
personages pictured. 
Then came the spring when I discovered
a new bank had been built. The old bank
was due to be demolished. I had to save
my people! I asked an older cousin to go
to the bank with me to help me rescue
the precious box. I showed him the 
secret way in. There he found an antique
wooden child's wagon. He carried it out,
then went back for the heavy box of 
photos, down a set of stairs, down a
dark creaking hallway and then down
another set of stairs, we made our
getaway! Pulling the wagon back to
my grandfathers, we were brazen,
hardened criminals, no fear of getting
Cousin hid the photos in my parents car 
and put the wagon in his parents car. 
When we heard the bank had had it's date
with destruction, he took the child's
wagon to his mother. They decided to
donate it to a local museum. I showed
my mother the box of antique photos.
Seeing the names on the backs, she 
had the idea of trying to find some of 
the family locally. A few phone calls,
 mom hit paydirt, a man who said
he would call his sister to come take a 
look. The day arrived, the elderly lady 
sat on the couch and I brought her the box.
As she named the people in the pictures
she burst into tears. They were photos 
which had been missing for years,
the only ones the family had. She was
terribly grateful that I had been a 
bank robber and had saved her family
pictures from the wrecking ball. 
I received a Christmas card every 
year from her until she passed away.

2. My second cousin cut my third finger off 
my right hand with scissors when I was five.
#2 is a WHOPPER: Not the whole finger, 
just the top of it.
Miss smarty pants(me) knew cousin wasn't
supposed to play with Aunt Faye's scissors. 
My intentions were to take them from her 
and play with them myself. 
She taught me the valuable lesson of never 
presenting a frontal attack. Always approach
from the side! The end of the finger was
reattached in the emergency room and
eventually I recovered full use of it. 
I still bear the scar, it makes for a good
cautionary tale for the grand kids.
I've never liked that cousin.

3. Gypsies kidnapped me and stole 
my first home.  
#3 is a WHOPPER:
They didn't get me, just the small
trailer my parents were using until
the big farm house was remodeled 
enough to live in.  
Yes, Gypsies!!
My mother always told me when I
was being particularly awful, they 
would be back for me. After reading
Ransom for Red Chief, I was ready
for them! 

4. My Dad and I found a complete
skeleton in a prospector's shack in 
the desert. He said if I ever told my 
mother he wouldn't take me with him 
to check out stuff anymore.
#4. Drum roll... TRUE!
My dad was a rockhound ,we were
tourists long before there was such a
thing. We traveled great distances
every summer in our Jeep station
wagon. Forests, mining camps, lost
caverns, all of that and more was
par for the course when I was a kid.
When we were going through a desert
my dad saw a shack south of us and
he just had to investigate. He and I
were off to see what we could see.
There behind the door to a second
room I found "him" under a deteriorated
quilt. Poor old dear had left this veil of
tears while in bed. Nothing left of him but
his bones which had become white with
desert summer's blinding heat and
winter's biting cold.
I never told my mother until my dad
himself had passed.
Dad and I did have our secrets. :) 

5. I won my first Purple ribbon at the
State Fair for scratch baking when I 
was eight. I entered my white cake
with strawberry icing.
#5. WHOPPER: It was a blue ribbon and 
I won it in the local fair. 4H!

6. The King of Sweden visited a town
14 miles from here, I got to shake his
hand. So I have had the privilege of 
shaking the hand of a past President 
and a King.
#6. WHOPPER: I did shake President
Eisenhower's hand, if I told you all of 
that story you would swear I was 
telling you another whopper. The 
King of Sweden did visit and I saw him 
but of course, never shook his hand.

 7. I recently learned one of my Barbies 
I had since I was a kid would be worth
21 thousand dollars if it was still in the
box. As it is, it is only worth about 
seven thousand dollars.

Yep, it's a WHOPPER! 
Mostly an outright lie!
If I still had my one and only Barbie
and she was still in the box, she would
only be worth about $700. (She was
a Champagne bubble cut Barbie. )

Well,  it was fun! If I had it to do all
over again, I would tell you about our
diamond mine in Arkansas and what
we found there... and about
laying on the train tracks and letting
the train roll over me(scary!)
Oh well, maybe another time. 


ValGalArt said...

hahahaha! oh this reminds me of the story told about your New Year's Party :D I love the bank story and the dad story best, yer good girl ;) real, real good!

Andrew Finnie said...

Well, ValGalArt already said hahahaha! So I am going to cackle.

But seriously, you have the gift of the Blatant Liar, so you justly desrve your award.

I see the trick now. To put in just a little bit of truth.

Have to watch you from now on.


My secret word is 'mange' (must be to eat in french?)

LDahl said...

Thank you Val, I've been thinking about the next Whopper Party!

Andrew, the "gift" about drove my poor mom to the brink! *cackle*
I'm actually painfully honest, my friends call it Lilah's Blutitiudes.
But, I can be very creative at times of silliness. See, writing that alone gave me an Idea...Hhmmmmm.

Watch away....good luck catching me!

Mange? Like in the dog skin disease? That will teach you to turn your dog to stone! What would Medusa with mange look like? EEeuuuu!
Thanks again for the award:)

simon said...

No 4!!! Awesome!!!!

Love the the chair Lilah!

LDahl said...

Hi Simon, glad you are home safe and sound. I keep thinking I want to make more of the little chairs. :)

Guyana-Gyal said...

Gosh, even amongst the fibs you had an interesting life!

I guessed right about the skeleton, eh? Maybe the truth comes out in your art?

ValGalArt said...

i forgot to mention how much i love this image! it touches me ;)
it is a special little scene :Dpp

ValGalArt said...

how did those two p"s get in there?

Alan said...

just dropped by to see the artist at work.

LDahl said...

Thanks for the comments was a fun project, I do want you to know I don't tell fibs without "telling" on myself. But at the same time we shouldn't let harsh truth get in the way of being creative and hitting stuff with the varnish brush and throwing on a little glitter.